I am now 31 months out from my last radiation treatment. You would think I would be hunky dory, feeling fine, happy, fulfilled. But why? Why would I feel that way when I went through fear, anxieties, uncertainties, loneliness, all the emotions that cancer brings to the one who has it? Why?

Because of God.

I only did 3 blogs on this site. After that, I could do no more. I could not read what I had written in my journal, I could not even stand to think about it. But at the same time, I could not stop thinking about it. So I just rolled it up inside of myself, put on my brave happy face, and started walking through life again...often oblivious of God.

Don't tell anyone! Please! Mercy, what if that information got out there? What would people think? What would they say about me? How could I show my face at church again, and worse, how could I ever teach my life-group again?

Because of God.

I did what every cancer survivor does...I survived. But to be able to do that, you have to walk. You can't just talk about it. You can't ignore it. You can't even banish it. It is here, inside, waiting for every opportunity to break out and ruin your day. I know. It happened to me.  I had to learn how to walk all over again.

I have good days, wonderful days, but I also have terrible days, days where I feel and look like crap. My mind becomes mush and I am angry...at everyone. And especially at myself. Now, you tell me, is that not terrible?

It is and it isn't. After all, it was terrible. Even though my journey with cancer was very easy and quick compared to many I have known, it is still cancer. And it is a specter that stays with you, waiting to pounce, to surprise, to shake you until you can't stand any more. If not for my wonderful support, my husband, family, friends, co-workers, and the medical community I was and am still part of, I would have fallen flat and never gotten up again. Cancer! Not in my family. But yes, there it was, and in me.

So we have our bad days, our good days, our days that are simply days. And we do what we can to make the best of each and every one. Because every day is a gift. It is a gift that is ours, and we deserve and are allowed to enjoy it. And because of that, we may just make someone else's day as well.

Because of God.

So do it!

'This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.'
Psalm 118:24